Preparing for a christ-centered birth: what to expect from me as a christian doula

When I first started this journey as a doula, I was adamant that I would not put myself into a box of only serving Christians(and I haven’t). But, this is what I thought branding myself as a Christian doula would do because of the many different opinions about Christianity due to misrepresentation by people who claim to love Jesus, but their actions are far from Him- this isn’t about that and tends to be a very intimate conversation for me. What it ended up boiling down to is I love Jesus, and it’s harder for me to not talk about Him than it is for me to talk about Him. The Holy Spirit is always with us, and the more in tune with His presence that you are the harder it gets to not talk about Him. Think about how hard it is to not talk about your partner or any other person that you spend most of your time with- its practically impossible.

The Holy Spirit eventually revealed to me that I need to make it known that I am a Christian AND a doula, and for those families that value both of those identities, I can fill in that gap within this industry. I’m here to serve Christian families and help them to seek the face of God during one of their most vulnerable moments in life here on Earth, but I’m also here to live and love like Jesus for those people who have never been given the opportunity to meet Him for who He truly is instead of the perceptions that other people have falsely projected onto Him.

I’m going to talk about how I serve non-Christians first because it does look a bit differently than how I serve my brothers and sisters in Christ, but not in the ways that you may think. First and foremost, I believe that God gifted me with a very accepting spirit. I am not one to judge or pry into your personal life choices nor will I judge you for cursing throughout your birth even though I don’t personally curse(this is a common concern I have come across lol). I love all of my clients as I love myself which is something we are called to do as followers of Christ(Matthew 22:39), but I don’t hold them to the standards that I hold my Christian clients to who have expressly told me that they want a Christ-centered birth. I address people by their preferred pronouns because I wouldn’t want someone calling me he when I have expressly told them I am she. It’s just that simple to me. I have no right to condemn anyone or mistreat them and label it as my values. This doesn’t mean that I will participate in anything or take anyone as a client, but one group of people I’m always open to working with that may be controversial to some Christians is the LGBTQ+ community- I’ve done it before, and I will continue to do it until my last breath or the Holy Spirt takes that aspect of my purpose away. I may go off into a corner and pray during down time or be within myself praying while doing hip squeezes or slow dancing, but my main focus with my non-believing clients is to show up as my best self, so that I can support them to have the best birth experience possible.

For my on-fire Christian clients who have made it clear that their life is Christ-centered and thus their pregnancy, birth, and postpartum period will be too, I immediately will keep it all the way real with you because we believe the same things. I don’t want to hear none of that I can’t do this stuff because we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us( Philippians 4:13). It’s not that I stop believing that ever, but I will counter any negative thought my Christian clients have not just with scientific facts, but also with biblical truth. Your affirmations are relevant scriptures, period. We are not given a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline( 2 Timothy 1:7). There comes a point in most births where you have to give some tough love to your clients so that they can have the birth they want(usually transition), but that tough love goes from being guided by the Holy Spirit on what to say to comfort a non-believer to the Word of God for believers.

My doula care isn’t all or nothing when it comes to Jesus depending on the client. I am always team Jesus, but I have had to learn what to say, when to say it, and who to say it to. My goal is always to spread the love of God, and I pray every day that everyone feels as though I truly care about them (and thus God cares about them) as I serve their family, but my Christian clients can expect for us to pray together and recite scripture together as the ultimate and biggest tool in our toolbox during birth compared to my non-Christian clients. I love all of you equally, and I pray for all of you, but only some of you I will be given the opportunity to pray with and I have an added layer of gratitude for that.